A day in the Life….

September 23, 2005. It was supposed to be the perfect day. One every high school student dreams about. Homecoming! It is supposed to be filled with Powderpuff Football, bonfires, the big game, Toilet Papering houses, and of course the dance. But what happens when your homecoming is the exact oppisite?

On September 23, 2005 it was the Big Game for my Sophmore year Homecoming. That night I was supposed to go Toilet Papering with my best friend Evie. Needless to say we got in a fight, like so many teen girls do, and what did I do? Like so many teen girls do instead of just walking away…I said “I never want to see you again. I cant believe I called you my best friend”. All kids say that sometime right? I learned the hard way not too.

The next morning I woke up bright and early at 6am to get my hair done at 8am, go grocery shopping, and come home and get ready for the big dance. Adam would be there at 5. When I got downstairs my uncle tried calling saying he needed to talk to me or mom immediately. I figured he wanted me to work. So we called, no answer, oh well.

Around 2:00 when I got home we had more messages. My mom called and talked to his wife, my aunt, Evie and I’s boss. The next couple of minutes are blurry. All I remember is my mom getting off the phone, crying, hugging me saying “Baby, I’m so sorry”. I repeatedly asked what happened. Finally the news I dreaded…..Evie was gone. My worst nightmare was coming true. I remember dropping to my knees sobbing telling my mom over and over again that it wasn’t true. But it was.

At 12:09 am on September 24,2005 Evie was in a car accident after dropping off a friend. She hit a power pole. She was in the car for three hours. And at around 3:00 am Evie was pronounced dead at the scene.

I went to the dance. After going to the restaraunt we worked at and the football field where I last saw her. I was showered with hugs and everything else. None of it helped. I went to dinner with my friend, walked around the mall, and then went to Evie’s house. Heartbreak and emptiness was all I felt. Bernie, Evie’s sister, ended up going to the dance with us. I cried alot. I don’t know why I bothered with makeup. But I managed to laugh some, give out a few smiles, and me and Bernie even managed to smile for a picture together that I will cherish forever.

The next few days were hell. And I dont remember alot. I dont think I slept more than 10 hours. I could sit at school without bursting into tears. I tried working…all I did was hear her voice. My mom had to litterally force me to eat. I didnt want to. I just wanted to cry.

The Visitation was hardest. I went in the funeral home and all I saw was tons of pictures of Evie. All with her beautiful carefree smile.Including one of me and her from Prom.  But then I walked into another room and I dreaded it. There she was. My beautiful best friend who was always so full of life, laying there lifeless and cold. She was gone.

After being at the funeral home for 7 hours my mom said that I needed to go and get sleep. I went it and I knew that was my last chance to say goodbye. I went up, tears covering my face, gave her a kiss on the cheek and told her that I would see her later.

I dont remember anything from the funeral. Literally all I remember is that it was cold and raining. Bri took me to kiss the coffin. And that was it. Evie was gone.

In the past four years I think I have felt every emotion known to mankind. Guilt mostly. Did I kill her by saying what I did? Why am I alive and she is not? I was supposed to be with her. Sadness. I lost the most amazing person I have ever known that day. Anger. Why the hell did it happen. Why did God take her? But I would soon find my reason and come to peace with Evie’s passing.

September of 2006, almost a year to the day of Evie’s passing, I found out I was pregnant. Five months later, I found out that it was a little girl. I showed Russ, Evies dad, the pictures from the ultrasound. He smiled and hugged me tight, just like Evie did, and he said “This is why she left. Evie is her guardian Angel.”

On May 28, 2007 at 7:02 Pm I gave birth to a beautiful little girl named Jenna Rose, with Evies picture right next to me. I knew she was there. Jenna is now 2. And I believe more than anything a piece of Evie is with Jenna. I believe that Jenna know’s who Evie is. So what if it makes me crazy. Jenna has so much of Evie’s qualities. It scares me at times. But having Jenna gave me peace as crazy as it seems.

Evie..Words cannot describe how much you mean to me. To this day you are my best friend. You always will be. Everything that has happened in these four years I know you were with me. I miss you more and more everyday.  Not a day goes by I dont think of you. Everything I do I catch myself asking “What would Evie do”. You taught me so much in the short time we had together. I still laugh about times we had at work, like chasing Jean around with a knife for cutting off his hair, or creating an Evie River by not shutting the dishwasher, or dumping potato salad all over the kitchen and laughing the entire time we cleaned it up making a bigger mess, or trying to learn the carwash dance in my yard. I can’t watch 10 Things I hate About You without thinking of you. I can’t listen to Romeo and Juliet. It all comes back to you. I love you Evie and always will. I can’t wait to see you again. I know you are up there looking down and will always be a beautiful 16 year old girl forever. But until I am with you up there I am down here dancing for you. I love you Evie Rose!

***To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world***